


hella gay (ramblebook about my girlfriend)

by ElongatedStingy



Category: Original Work
Genre: Biting, Blood and Injury, F/F, Light Masochism, NOT AS SCARY AS SOME OF THE SHIT I'VE SEEN HERE, Neck Kissing, Non-Sexual, Non-Sexual Bondage, Non-Sexual Kink, Non-Sexual Submission, Rambling, Real Life, but yes yes just warning, just me being gay, oh wow these are good descriptive tags!, so y'all understand, we have just about everything in the book when it comes to arms up honestly, won't update often
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:47:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27477517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElongatedStingy/pseuds/ElongatedStingy
Summary: hi!! this is just a place for me to ramble about my girlfriend and Just How Gay I Am. this is just our little place, a little safe area, read the little gay ramblings and poetry if you'd like but this is just a little randombook inspiration place for uswelcome, and have a stellar day!
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. hello, preface, and dedication

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PhobiaTheReaper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhobiaTheReaper/gifts).



good morning! here is a little safe place, for inspiration and poetry and little rambles and things we'd like to share with the world together.  
this is book is for my girlfriend and she's amazing and really sweet and we're incredibly gay and just. generally cute  
this is a little place for love letters and quotes and poems and metaphor dumps and song verses and any and everything in between.  
just soft docile love.

you're welcome to stick around, maybe we'll inspire you!  
maybe we'll brighten your day just a little!  
stick around, get a cup of tea, enjoy yourself.  
and i hope we can make you smile!

have a stellar day!

(also ps hi baby when u see this this is here and surprise!)


	2. her voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi i love her voice here is me thinking about her voice because she's telling me stories right now

hi so. her voice is very good is has a smooth huskiness to it sometimes when she gets into her storytelling voice and it has just the slightest bit of european accent to it sometimes. and her tone, her inflection. it's very good. husky and smooth and has all these little dips and dynamics, i'm a music person and i've always loved sound and her voice is like tomato basil soup it's warm and soft and delicious

i really like that analogy!! soft tomato basil soup! it's wonderful and it has a little bit of spice to it and i love listening to her stories and listening to her voice and watching her voice and i love this. it's amazing i love her,,, her voice is so smooth and very good. i don't know how to describe it except for warm and like warmth and like tomato basil soup and earl grey tea


	3. little story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> heyy im back and im gay!
> 
> ALSO!! if youre actually someone whos reading this who ~aint~ my special human,,  
> this has mentions of blood! and tongues! and such! i maybe should put it in the tags idk  
> but yeah uwu i love her and i think of little stories this is one of those stories

i was hurt. she knew this. i crawled into her lap, defenseless, wounds quietly stinging and muscles weary. the tang of blood was on my tastebuds and the air was filled with copper. she smiled at me, lifting my chin gently with her knuckles. i felt her ring on the bottom of my jaw, it was cool against my warm skin. my matching one was spotted with blood, the scarlet complementing the jewel quite nicely. that shaky hand drifted up and rested on her collarbone, tracing its way up her neck tentatively, absentmindedly.  
"you know i love you, right?" i asked.  
"of course, dear," she replied without hesitation. "but i love you more."  
i giggled; at least- tried to- it was a half-giggle, half-sneeze, half-cough-of-blood. she held me close, i was shuddering a little, and i let her steady me. she held me there until the bloody sunset went to bed. it couldn't hold the weight of the sky anymore. she smiled, she held me until i didn't feel the hurt anymore. she protected me.  
and where the sun had left, a light remained in her eyes. a fire, maybe a quiet hunger. she smiled at me, her lips parting just slightly. she was beautiful, i was disheveled, but from the way she was looking at me i could tell she thought i was beautiful as well. the air was gray and steamy and warm, like a nice cup of tea. my hand had climbed a little more, come to rest on her chin, the side of my finger on her face tentatively. she was a bit lost in thought, her eyes distant but still so close. i stared into them, and was met with a twinge of mischievous gleam. i felt something damp on my knuckle. she was-  
"you-" i began, broken out of my trance momentarily, our eyes still locked. i blinked a bit in disbelief. "you were-"  
it took her a moment to realize, but when she did, there came the apologies. i told her a hundred times that i didn't mind. i mean, come on, it was flattering, she'd stared at me, so mesmerized, that she'd started drooling.  
"i didn't even realize, i'm so sorry! I was looking at you and i got to thinking and i just-"  
i smiled weakly. she's cute.  
suddenly her voice dropped to a lower, hushed register. "a-and you're so helpless, right in my arms, so defenseless and v u l n e r a b l e..." she spoke, alluringly, hungrily. i yelped a little at her sudden change of tone and the look in her eyes. eyelids half-closed, full of fire.  
"and i have you all to myself, don't i?"  
a little breathy squeak escaped my throat. my eyes did a fantastic impression of dinner plates, and blush prickled at my cheeks. she laughed at this, not maliciously, just little low chuckles at how cute she found me to be. her chuckle drifted down in her throat and became a growl- soft, hungry, alluring. why was it alluring? heck, i have no idea, i just know that I really liked it. and if i didn't know i liked it, my shaky soft whimper would've been a pretty big incdicator.  
"i love it when you whimper for me."  
her statement was casual, absentminded, but i felt my face get even hotter and this was decidedly not casual. SLACHSSLHCHSYRSSCYURCHUHCURh. oh! a cough rattled me. i'd forgotten i was hurt, distracted by her and not paying attention to the pain; but the blood on the corner of my mouth demanded my focus, just a little. i watched her eyes widen as it slowly dribbled down my lip. she lifted her thumb to my chin, softly feeling and wiping away the little scarlet trickle. her fingertip played at the edge of my lip, and a low, quiet, unintentional growl escaped her. i was breathless. her touch left sparks, and her thumb didn't leave my lip, despite the little speckles of blood.  
"my helpless little prey," she murmured, and i don't think she even realized she'd said it. i whimpered, probably solidifying her point. we just kinda sat there in a trance- her smile was wonderful, and her gaze drifted down a little to my lips. i was motionless, save for my heartbeat drumming a rhythm so hard it rattled my limbs just a little. everything felt like it was happening so slowly, and the air felt like syrup. her lips parted just a little. neither of us moved. she stared. the tip of her tongue peeked out a little- at this i gasped sharply, but very very quietly. her thoughts were clear. she licked her lips slowly. my eyes were glued to her movements- i teetered forward a little bit, a quiet drive to be closer to her, to feel it.  
yeah, that's right! i wanted to feel her tongue. it looked so oddly soft. luckily for me, her hand, already resting on my face, was in a perfect position to pull me towards her. i wasn't aware of it, but there was a little dribble on my lip, maybe of drool, maybe of blood, probably of both. when she leaned just a little and moved softly and tasted it, she let out a little contented "mmm". at the feeling of the tip of her tongue on my lip, i whimpered again, the sound small and helpless. she inhaled slowly, savoring the heat rising off my face. her exhale was a quiet growl right on my lips.  
goodness, at this point, we were stalling, and the tension was thick as molasses. finally, our lips met. no longer were there millimeters between us, filled with bated smokey breaths. it was warm, it was humid, i felt the movement of her tongue and her lips and the warmth. it was wonderful and there are no words to describe it except for "THAT'S PRETTY POGGERS DUDE"


	4. music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is kind of a letter? ish? a poem. written like if hozier met jack stauber i think. i like music and this sounds good in my opinion

to whom it may entice:

hey, hot stuff.  
let's write a song together.  
a symphony played with tongues and teeth and heartstrings  
you've got me all tied up in measures and staffs of your own design,  
a symphony, with a tempo you've invented, where my heartbeat is helplessly keeping time  
and a voice singing words of praise, a voice you hold with fingers gentle and rough

my name rings on your tongue and i'm drawn to it  
call me, command me, with crescendo melody divine  
screams ring like bells in the depths of my throat  
draw them out, collect them, won't you?  
with an artist's fingertips  
with the precision of a musician, guiding me, my conductor,  
my majesty, command me, i'll do as you say  
and your words reach my ears and they sing there  
and my heart boils over  
god, i'm gay

with more love than even I can comprehend,  
your musical devotee, your faithful prey


	5. i have fallen in love with death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ah, the concept of endings. living is so important. and i think she considered me to be life, a force of light, so it really fits. it's beautiful. just some really nice analogies and metaphors for her. (also i'm gonna get this published in a literary magazine at school!)

Death is the kindest lady I'll ever meet.

She's got this bittersweet melancholy about her, like nobody else I've ever met. It's inexplicable. She holds herself in such a way, and it's enchanting. She's faceted, jaded, from so many years of watching so many endings- yet she still finds the new beginnings. But the sweetest thing about her is that she is inevitable. She knows you will fall into her arms, always, inevitable.

And she is so proud of you. Not for fighting her grasp, but for knowing of her reign, living in her kingdom and knowing your ending, but choosing to live so vibrantly anyway.

I did not meet her with an ending, she did not take me, congruent with her purpose. I met Death in passing and I chose to love her. I rest in her palms, and I trust her to protect me. My soul is in her hands. I am aware that she could watch me end if she wanted. After all, it is she who knows the intricacies of the soul. She is knowledgeable about these things.

But it is not my soul she has taken. It is my heart. She is beautiful- her demeanor, her psychology, it's intriguing and enticing. I want to walk around in her mind and feel her soft, tensile thoughts. She's wise. Though she is the harbinger of endings, she has taught me to romanticize life in a way I could never have before. She has given me a new appreciation for every bit of the world I surround myself with. And though I know she will watch these things become obsolete, it makes them that much better in the moment.

And I hope she is proud of me. Not for fighting her grasp, but for knowing of her reign, living in her kingdom and knowing my ending, but choosing to live so vibrantly anyway.

Death is often considered one who takes. However, to me, she has given so much. I can only hope to repay her. I don't have much to offer her, only juvenile philosophy and unconditional love. I hope she's alright with that.

I have fallen in love with death, and the way we romanticize life together.


	6. soft and floaty, her little voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> she's so cute and i love when she get's all cute and soft,, she's literally kawaii baby

"i'm not that cute,!,," she says, in the cutest softest lightest little voice  
and then she yelps  
and the way she hides in her blankie  
her whimpers are perfection  
and the way she rocks when she gets flustered  
aaaaWWW  
she's my perfect little baby  
she sounds so flustered  
and gets so cutely tsundere when i call her my baby.  
"i'M NoT BABy-!"  
i love her sooooo so much  
and she just deflates into little giggly cries  
and little whimpers,,,  
they're the cutest thing ever

y'all're weebs. y'all are aware. sHE LITERALLY sounds like an anime girl  
and her vocal stuff!!! a a , she's so cute.   
and there's a little accent to it that's perfect and it's got just a twinge of audrey from little shop of horrors  
bc she really likes lsoh and like. audrey's soft little voice. but it's so much better because it's her voice, and it's not entirely audrey, and it's her own special thing  
she's so cute when she gets like this  
i love it  
she's all flustered  
and i love calling her my baby.

such a pretty little thing when you get all cute~


	7. everything feels so right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the things that she says and does are very, very nice, and often prove that yes i'm a bottom

everything feels so right when i'm in fear.

for some reason, the exhilaration, the gentle chill in my veins  
the way you make me feel  
the way your growls bubble up, guttural, from the depths of your throat  
i want to explore where they come from.  
i want to feel all the reasons of why i get so afraid of them

why i get so afraid of your words, when you gently coo at me,  
words about all the things you want to do to me  
all the little teasing comments you make  
and that playful, playful hunger in your eyes

goodness, i love you.  
but the best fear i feel  
is when words escape your lips with force  
when you command me,  
when my knees are shaky and weak and my veins are electrocuted  
just by those words of yours  
that's all i need to be sent into a tizzy  
just your words, your soft tones, 

and just. the way you say things,  
you're perfect,  
you're fantastic,  
you're terrifying,  
you shake the cores of my bones and you are sometimes the scariest lady i've ever met  
but god, it's hot

and i love being afraid


End file.
